Age:

31

Marital Status:

Currently under litigation

Occupation:

Printing Salesman at ColorLithoPress Graphics, Inc.

Hometown:

Weasel Butte, Oregon

Luxury Item:

Rogaine

Jack is a senior account executive in his third tenure at CLP Graphics, Inc. He's worked in the printing industry since his early release in 1994 while serving three years on a forgery charge in Arkansas.

Growing up in Weasel Butte, Oregon, Jack experienced the joys of rural living. Hunting, fishing, hiking and storytelling are some of his favorite activities. Some would suggest that Jack has taken storytelling to a level that is immeasurable. When he was six, Jack convinced the local authorities that he had been raised by a Sasquatch in the woods of Oregon and therefore wasn't legally required to attend school. That decision was later rescinded.

His extensive printing background includes sales and pressing license plates. Given his start in the printing business by his high school girlfriend's father, Jack has parlayed that opportunity into a highly successful career that helps pay for his golfing habit, and his alimony and child support.

He began working on the Kwality Widgets' annual report in 1998, when his brother's sister-in-law's cousin (the CEO's wife) called him out of pity. He has had the job each year since, although his quote is generally 25% higher than the competition's. His goal this year is to have at least $35,000 in on-press alteration charges.

"I believe in customer service" says Jack, "like when you're at the 14th tee and the client pages you before you tee-off. You could hit first, then call the plant and have your project manager call back for you. But I think the customer deserves more than that. That's why I always call before teeing off, and have my project manager let the client know I'm not available that day."

Color

Reflex blue - "Can you say reprint?!"

Smell

Fresh U.V. coating

Flower

Lunaria annua, a.k.a. "Honesty"

Book

Zig Ziglar's "Secrets of Closing the Sale"

Music

Johnny Cash/Johnny Paycheck

Actor

Steven Seagal - I can't believe he didn't win an Oscar® for Under Siege.

Movie

Smokey and the Bandit - I can't believe it didn't win an Oscar® for Best Picture.

Periodical

Cell Door Magazine, because my brother's the editor for the Leavenworth edition.

Food

Fried

Beverage

A couple of shots of Wild Turkey right before press time.

Activity you'll miss the most

18 holes of golf at G.G.C.C. (Grazing Goats Country Club)

Comfort item you'll miss

Brut by Fabergè

Allergies

Alimony

Poisonous snake

The Sales Manager at CLP Graphics, Inc.

Car

1983 Trans Am with T-tops

Rat recipe

Fried

Web site

www.badgolfmonthly.com

Moment

When the client asks on press, "Is this gonna cost extra?"

Hurricane names

Aphelia. That's my current wife's name: Aphelia Payne.

Comic book character

Wonder Woman, as in "I Wonder how that Woman fit in that costume."

TV show

WKRP in Cincinnati reruns - I just love that Herb guy - he's got the coolest clothes.

Over-the-counter drug

Vivarin – with a No-Doz chaser.

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